The Unspeakable Spoken

Today is one of my favorite days all year. It’s a day when I get to brag on an incredible human being that I am privileged to call my husband. He doesn’t like receiving public attention for all his wonderfulness, but I give it to him anyways because it’s good for him.

We’ve been together now for 13 years but these past 5 months have been the most challenging yet. From the moment we received Gibson’s diagnosis in December life continued to throw us curveball after curveball. In the midst of all that stress and fear, I have seen the true depths of Dustin’s character and strength shine as never before. His steadfastness. His kindness. His proactivity. His gentleness. His strength. His fight. His humor. His sorrow. His love.

He finds within himself whatever is required, even when that means doing the impossible.

Let me tell you a story.

Before I went into surgery on the day I gave birth to our son, they had me in a small, cramped (and very crowded) prep room to get ready for the procedure. The nurse who was trying to get my IV line in was having trouble with the device. After fiddling with it for awhile, she just couldn’t get the blood to flow for some reason so she told us that she was going to go get another unit and try again.

When she left, my right hand (the hand with the dysfunctional IV still hanging loosely from it) was dangling over the right side of the bed. Dustin and my mom were on my left side, out of view of my WIP IV line. We continued to chat as we waited and after some time had passed, the nurse returned and immediately panicked, yelling “OH MY GOSH, WHAT HAPPENED?!” Unbeknownst to any of us, blood had started gushing through the supposedly defective IV line while she was away and was spilling all over the prep room floor beside my bed that entire time.

Let’s just suffice it to say that upon that realization I was more than a little bit terrified. My eyes widened to the size of baseballs and fear solidly gripped my entire body. I started to shake and every possible worst case scenario for what still was ahead of me began to race through my mind.

In an instant, and knowing exactly what was going on in my head, Dustin jumped up and put my face solidly between his two hands and turned it towards him. While the nurse worked to resolve things, he locked his eyes on mine and kept calmly repeating, “You are going to be okay. You are going to be okay. You are going to be okay.” And he kept on saying it until my eyes returned to their normal size and his strength became mine.

This is just one small example of the steadfastness I have witnessed from him every single day. He is, quite literally, the very best.

Dustin, you are a gift to everyone who knows you. And you are a special gift to me.

I pray that this year is full of healing, comfort, resolve, courage, and kindness. That in the midst of your sorrow, you feel joy abounding. That in the midst of your fears, you feel bravery deep within. And that in the midst of your journey, you find meaning that matters.

Happy birthday my love.