The Unspeakable Spoken

Today is the 6 month anniversary of Gibson’s passing. It is unreal to me that half a year has already come and gone.

As before, our grief continues to come in waves. Crashing in, washing out… over and over again. As time goes on, we learn to ride that wave where it needs to go – trying to contain it is useless. Sometimes it needs to break, hard and fast inside my heart. Other times it rolls gently through my soul in a familiar rhythm. I am learning to live alongside it.

To honor the day, I thought I would share a poem that I wrote awhile back as I reflected on the experience. Be kind – I do not claim to be a poet, just a human finding ways to get all of these thoughts out of my head. Here it goes…

Knowing: A Poem From a Grieving Mother

I hope you never know.

I hope you never know the hidden pain deep inside.

A complete brokenness, fragility.

I hope you never know the deafening silence of absence.

Listening and imagining, yearningly.

I hope you never know the ache of hollow arms.

They hang empty, longingly.

I hope you never know the pain that happiness brings.

Joy amidst sorrow, betrayingly.

I hope you never know the anger at normalcy.

Life returns eventually, impossibly.

But if you do know.

I hope you know the deeply changing kind of love.

Love that makes life brilliant and worth living.

I hope you know the transformation of forgiveness.

Forgiveness for others, but more importantly, for yourself.

I hope you know the expansive nature of our hearts.

Hearts feeling and carrying more than previously imaginable.

I hope you know the generosity of others.

Others who carry you when you feel you’re the most alone.

I hope you know the significance of building meaning.

Meaning which honors, remembers, and gives purpose.

In knowing, a connection to those who’ve gone before us.

In knowing, this strength and resilience inspire direction.

In knowing, the courage to sing this song is found once again.

I hope you know.

Photo Credit for Featured Image: Ken Fong Photography