Category: Personal Reflections
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Singing The Song Again
A few months after we lost our son Gibson in 2022, a friend and I went to the Ahmanson Theater in Downtown LA to see the musical Hadestown, a modern re-telling of the mythic tale of Orpheus and Eurydice. Our young dreamer, Orpheus, falls in love with a beautiful, but plagued Eurydice. In the midst…
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The Road to Compassion
This past Friday, July 21st, 2023, was the planned delivery date for our little Ellie Kay. We were on the schedule for 7:35am, the first c-section of the day. A day very carefully chosen, which should have changed our lives forever. Instead, it slipped by like any other day, without much ado. A few people…
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An Impossible Six-Months
Today is the 6 month anniversary of Gibson’s passing. It is unreal to me that half a year has already come and gone. As before, our grief continues to come in waves. Crashing in, washing out… over and over again. As time goes on, we learn to ride that wave where it needs to go…
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The Most Dreaded & Desired Question
“How are you doing?” Simultaneously, my most dreaded and desired question. On one hand, what can I possibly say that captures the nuance and depth, the constant and elusive flow of emotions I feel every single day after losing my son? Grief and trauma of this magnitude are exhausting. It is also annoyingly difficult to…
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First Father’s Day
Though his life was brief, Gibson undoubtedly had the very best Dad of them all. Dustin Miller loved and fought for Gibson in every second he was given. It is evidenced by the dozens upon dozens of notes that Dustin captured in those short and long three days – recording every blood pressure reading, every…
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A Birthday Tribute to Dustin
Today is one of my favorite days all year. It’s a day when I get to brag on an incredible human being that I am privileged to call my husband. He doesn’t like receiving public attention for all his wonderfulness, but I give it to him anyways because it’s good for him. We’ve been together…
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One Month Loss Milestone
It’s been a month since our baby boy Gibson entered and exited this world, reordering Dustin and I’s entire existence in three short days. I wonder though, how is that possible? Because only a moment ago, I was aching with pregnancy pains in my everywhere. Snoring that loud pregnancy snore each night, waking up each…
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Our Loss Story
For so long, Dustin and I were intimidated by the gravity of being parents. But eventually, we decided to take the leap. We quickly discovered that we were pregnant and were simultaneously terrified and excited. Like all soon-to-be parents, we prepared for our lives to be completely upended in the best way imaginable. At first,…
The Unspeakable Spoken 