Tag: InfantLoss
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Singing The Song Again
A few months after we lost our son Gibson in 2022, a friend and I went to the Ahmanson Theater in Downtown LA to see the musical Hadestown, a modern re-telling of the mythic tale of Orpheus and Eurydice. Our young dreamer, Orpheus, falls in love with a beautiful, but plagued Eurydice. In the midst…
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The Road to Compassion
This past Friday, July 21st, 2023, was the planned delivery date for our little Ellie Kay. We were on the schedule for 7:35am, the first c-section of the day. A day very carefully chosen, which should have changed our lives forever. Instead, it slipped by like any other day, without much ado. A few people…
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Supporting Those in Traumatic Grief
Loss is an unfortunate reality of life and it is impossible to escape. The world ebbs and flows on the inevitable impermanence of our existence. And yet, as a society, we have always struggled to integrate grief into our daily life and practice. The more traumatic the loss (a loss that feels unfair, unimaginable, unusual,…
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Honoring Loss
When you suffer the loss of a child, you are faced with impossible realities and unbearable choices. Ones for which you can never be fully prepared, regardless of circumstance or warning. Only days before we lost Gibson, we were deciding which car to install the carseat in, and now, we were answering questions no parent…
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An Impossible Six-Months
Today is the 6 month anniversary of Gibson’s passing. It is unreal to me that half a year has already come and gone. As before, our grief continues to come in waves. Crashing in, washing out… over and over again. As time goes on, we learn to ride that wave where it needs to go…
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The Most Dreaded & Desired Question
“How are you doing?” Simultaneously, my most dreaded and desired question. On one hand, what can I possibly say that captures the nuance and depth, the constant and elusive flow of emotions I feel every single day after losing my son? Grief and trauma of this magnitude are exhausting. It is also annoyingly difficult to…
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Our Loss Story
For so long, Dustin and I were intimidated by the gravity of being parents. But eventually, we decided to take the leap. We quickly discovered that we were pregnant and were simultaneously terrified and excited. Like all soon-to-be parents, we prepared for our lives to be completely upended in the best way imaginable. At first,…
The Unspeakable Spoken 